A Breakdown of Hurricane Sandy
Hurricane Sandy was a natural disaster that no one could have prepared for enough. Some claimed it was another Hurricane Irene, but Irene was microscopic compared to Sassy Sandy.
With wind speeds of 85 miles per hour, she was a speedy lady.
Then, the sign that the worst had yet to come occurred: Starbucks closed.
People took to the streets stocking up on all the bare essentials, coffee beans, coffee filters, and even those latte machines I can never get to work.
Then, there was a lot of water. We’re talking river water. Ocean water. Evian water. Frackin’ water everywhere.
A crane in Manhattan broke and was swinging in the wind, and everyone was afraid.
But it’s fine now, there’s no more hanging crane because it fell onto a house down below. No worries though, it wasn’t even a premium view loft.
Also somehow even though it did not involve him Donald Trump made it about him. That’s some serious skill.
Then the explosions came.
And there was more water everywhere.
LaGuardia Airport was flooded but that didn’t really change how delayed the flights are anyway.
Then there was fire too, because you can’t have all that water without a little fire.
Then traffic in New York got worse.
Then Mayor Bloomberg gave New Yorkers a solution to help those without food, water or power by asking them to run the New York Marathon. Which resulted in the Guinness world record for most people calling a mayor a raging twat since the esteemed mayor of Philadelpha, Beaver McAngryClamboxington.
Then he had to cancel it anyways. People set to run the marathon decided they would still run and use the supplies the victims of Sandy needed.
And so it goes in New York, one day passing to the next until normality returns. The only question is how long will it take.