America’s Getting Dumber, Whoo!

America’s Getting Dumber, Whoo!

The education system in the United States is under serious threat of totally sucking and doing nothing for anyone ever. An OECD report says that the US is the only major power in the world where the younger generation is less educated than the older.

The annual education report from the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development showed that only one in five of our young Americans are reaching a higher education level than their parents — among the lowest rates of upward mobility in the developed world.

Even our Secretary of Education doesn’t know what’s going on. In an effort to combat our underperforming schools and/or students, SecEd Arne Duncan’s working on a new pilot program to extend the school year.

Right now, we’re okay. Our 25-64 age group is one of the highest educated adult groups in the world.  But when we’re talking about younger adults (25-34), we have now dropped to 14th. The report for the United States notes, “Based on these trends, the U.S. may find that an increasing number of countries will approach or surpass its attainment levels in the coming years.”

So, hey, what’re we going to do now that we don’t have to worry about being number one anymore?

 

Four Ways To Celebrate Our Dying Education System

Smoke ‘Em If You Got ‘Em: Smoking marijuana when you’re 18 and younger will lead to lower IQ levels in adulthood. But hey, we don’t have to prove anything, anymore! Get all potted up and enjoy some higher education. (Yeah.)

 

Spend That College Fund On Vidja Games: It’s the Christmas season. You’ve been saving up for university, but man, that’s four years. That’s a long time. And studying is hard. You know what you can study up on? Fragging. Fire up Black Ops II and shoot some zombies down.

 

Get Ready For The Zombie Apocalypse: And speaking of zombies, listen, your PhDs won’t matter at all to the ravenous hordes. In fact, they may eat the PhD as they eat you. Everyone laughs at the redneck until the zombies come. Get that truck going, grab a solid crossbow (I have one selected for you).

 

Catch Up On Homeland: Maybe now you’ll finally have the time to kick back, relax, and watch the inefficiencies of our intelligence community in action. Or, at least, watch Claire Danes get simultaneously super-hot and super-terrifying.

 

Come on, y’all! Let’s do it!

 

Question: How do you intend to celebrate our new freedom?