Authors Posts by JoeBereta

JoeBereta

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Joe Bereta Comedian: Barats and Bereta Productions Writer/Host: SourceFed Inventor: Internet Chronic Liar: See Above http://www.twitter.com/joebereta

This Is The Legend of Zelda From Start to Finish

The Legend of Zelda will forever be enshrined in the Video Game Pantheon as one of the best, if not the best, series of all time. Not debatable. However, one aspect of TLoZ that has been debated by countless fans over the last two decades is where all the games fall on an overarching Zelda timeline.  How does the  story unfold?  Where do Skyward Sword and Link to the Past fall in the legendary sequence?  What about the adorable Link’s Awakening?  This is important stuff, people!


Cornell University’s Carl Sagan Light Sculpture is Real Purty.

Yesterday, after indulging on hearty portions of tryptophan and starch, I sauntered off to bed in need of a soothing, dream-inducing piece of media to sherpa me off to dreamland.  I chose Carl Sagan’s Cosmos: A Personal Journey and I retain NO REGRETS!  Sagan’s feathery hair and weird, buttonless spaceship quickly ushered me into a state of REM bliss. Now, maybe I’m still dreaming, or maybe I exist in a universe comprised of elegant coincidence, because this morning, I was pleasantly surprised by this headline: Cornell University honors Carl Sagan with stunning LED tribute.

Red Bull’s Extreme Athlete Rube Goldberg Machine

Red Bull is officially the king of crazy-ass marketing stunts.  They were already perched near the top with visual spectacles like the always entertaining Flugtag and the record breaking Baumgartner Space Jump, and now they’ve just released an extreme-athlete-drenched, Rube Goldberg extravaganza they lovingly call: The Athlete Machine – Red Bull Kluge.

Let us be honest, the verdict is still out on the Redbull drink. We don’t know what we’re doing to our insides when we dump concoctions of energy drink mixed with copious amounts of vodka down our gullets. And we definitely don’t know what the heck it’s doing to our insides.  Is it really giving us wings?  What are these lumps on my back!?  Are these wing-like protrusions?!  Or, oh no… it’s cancer!  Back cancer!  Baby-wing back cancer! Oh my god!  …Oh, wait.  Excuse me.  I’m sorry.  I overreacted. My shoulder blades are just a little more shoulder bladey today.

What we do know is that Red Bull straight up markets to the X-Games demographic. The Athlete Machine is the perfect example.  It’s a Rube Goldberg Machine (always an internet favorite) and the key components are a “Who’s Who” of the extreme athlete world.  Peep the list:

Sean MacCormac (Skydiver), Joey Brezinski (Skateboarder), Rickie Fowler (Golfer), Danny MacAskill (Trials Biker), Ryan Sheckler (Skateboarder), Drew Bezanson (BMX Rider), Bryce Menzies (Off-Road Truck Racer), Rhys Millen (Drifter), Robbie Maddison (Freestyle Motocross Rider), Lolo Jones (Hurdler), and Pat Moore (Snowboarder).

Now, what is Kluge?  According to the video, the definition of Kluge is:

A witty, yet intelligent solution that succeeds in performing a particular task.

You throw the descriptor words “NEEDLESS” and “ENTERTAINING” in there and I’m pretty sure you’ve got the definition for Rube Goldberg Machine.  Red Bull pulled out all the stops for this stunt when they teamed up with Syyn Labs. Syyn Labs specializes in technological, interactive, and artistic mediums to create these crazy spectacles. They’er the minds behind the incredibly popular OK GoThis Too Shall Pass” music video that also showcased an elaborate RUBE.

I absolutely love this kind of stuff, but allow me a skeptic’s moment. The machine goes off without a hitch from start to finish, even with unnecessary front flips and skateboard wizardry.  But here’s the thing, there are a lot of cuts.  The OK Go video almost convinced us of one-takery, but as pointed out by Freddie Wong, there were a couple cuts in that video.

Personally, I’d like to see an unedited single shot, from one camera, of the whole Redbull shebang.  I want to believe!  Make me believe!

Red Bull debuted the The Athlete Machine less than 24 hours ago and it has garnered about 112,000 views since the first “FRIST!!!1!!”  Red Bull and Syyn are obviously hoping for some viral momentum and with 10,000 likes and only 55 dislikes, it could be well on its way.

QUESTION: Where does this Rube rank in the long line of Rubes?  And, do you think this video will go viral? Why or why not? Also, what is your favorite part of the video? Mine is easily the  random Matrix slow-mo of the mud tire.  Also, why so many questions!!?!?!?!?

Super Secret Moon Base Plans

Those sneaky NASA folk have been busy doing some super-secret-behind-the-scenes-spacey-science stuff and with the reelection of Obama, the smoke screen covering said super-secret-behind-the-scenes-spacey-science stuff is set to disperse into the ether.  Now we’ll all be privy to their spacenanigans!

 

Here is Gandalf raking up the damn leaves.

 17 New Character Posters for The Hobbit

Hello kids!  It is my honor to present to you 17 new character posters for The Hobbit An Unexpected Journey.  You may or may not be dripping in the moistness of anticipation generated by the upcoming film, but you have to admit these promotionals are simply stunning.  What I love most about the original LoTR trilogy is that Peter Jackson and his team of madmen and madwomen created an amazingly detailed NEW WORLD that beautifully encompassed Tolkien’s epic vision.  And I tell you what, I am very excited that on December 14th, I get the chance to strap on my satchel and drop some coin on Middle Earth.  In the meantime, take a gander at these posters and momentarily whisk yourself away to a land of mythical sexy.  

Adorable Tri-Deathstar of adorableness… that explodes the s#*t out of planets.

DISNEY+STAR WARS+TUMBLR

DISNEY+STAR WARS+TUMBLR = A whole bunch of Nerdy Yesness.  The announcement of the Disney acquisition of LucasFilms was sure to generate a flurry of frenzied fan reaction.  And the best place to monitor said fanatic frenzy is Tumblr.  Here are some pics reaped from the goldmine. 

CHRONO TRIGGER ON YOUR ANDROID!!!

The best frickin’ game EVER is now available to please all your sensory spots straight from your Android!  All it takes is $9.99 and you’ll download the the chance, no, the inalienable right to join the ranks of Chrono, Marle, Lucca, Frog, Robo, Ayla, and if you so choose, Magus.  YOU ALWAYS CHOOSE MAGUS!

 

A Good Day to Watch A New “A Good Day to Die Hard” Trailer

There is a new “A Good Day to Die Hard” trailer and John McClane is on vacation MOTHER F*&%#$*S!!!   And this vacation is one-part nuclear weapons heist, two-parts Russian backdrop, three-parts McClane family outing, and thirty-parts aging/bald/raspy/iconic ALL-AMERICAN ACTION HERO DOING ACTION HERO EXPLOSION STUFFZ!!  Yep.  Stuff with a Z, MOTHER F(*&^%#S!!!

 

 

Test Sample Results From Underground Antarctic Lake

Back in February, we here at SourceFed covered a little story about Russian scientists gettin’ their dig on by drilling two miles down beneath the Antarctic surface. They were trying to reach an untouched, pristine, underground lake called Lake Vostok, so they could extract themselves some samples for some good old-fashioned scientific study.  Peep our moving picture coverage here.  AND THE RESULTS ARE IN!  Keep reading, you’ll get to the results soon.

SNL’s “Give Us Back Our Daughters” trailer does a great job of taking the clichés from the Taken movie and smashing them together with the clichés from The Expendables.

Pepper in some spot-on impersonations from Taran Killam, as Liam Neesom, and Jay Pharoah as Denzel Washington, with a dash of Bobby Moynihan and Bill Hader, and you got yourself a parody movie trailer that you wouldn’t mind seeing in the real life.

 

Ryan Andresen is a kick-ass Boy Scout.  He got all da badges!  But he’s got one too many badges and his Scoutmaster doesn’t like that Rainbow Hunting badge he’s sporting on his sash.  Wait a minute, that’s not a badge, that’s a pin.  And Ryan is gay.  And Ryan believes his troop leader is denying him the rank of Eagle Scout because of his sexual orientation.   And apparently Rainbow Hunting isn’t recognized by the Boy Scouts of America!  Or anyone!  THE WORLD IS FALLING APART! 

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