Coffin Company Gets Too Sexy With The Sex

Coffin Company Gets Too Sexy With The Sex

Well, the standards and practices offices of many a news site will be working overtime today, as the Catholic Church has condemned a coffin company in Poland for using nude models to show off their wood boxes for dead people.

The casket maker Linder was looking for outside of the box creative ways through which to sell their products. They decided to go sexy. And hey, I’m all for it. Get some tattooed pin-up models and have at it.

Cue “drop dead gorgeous” puns — oh, okay, never mind, they already got it.

The Catholic Church, however, takes a quick look at a poll to remind themselves that Poland is an overwhelmingly Catholic nation, and decries the effort. They’re playing it right, however, by simply saying death should not be treated so lightly. I get it, I understand.

It also doesn’t help the case of Linder that it looks like they did their calendar using a 3-day trial of Adobe Photoshop and blitzed through the manual before diving in. Seriously, it looks like images pulled from a teen goth’s Livejournal in 1999. So I’m inclined to side with the Catholic Church on this one — not on moral grounds, but hey, if you’re going to push the envelope, you’d better do it right.

The idea is quite interesting, but Linder’s excuse of wanting to separate coffins from its theological symbolism doesn’t track. No, dude, you want to sell more coffins and you like attractive women. It’s cool, we’re not going to judge you on that. But if you’re going to make a calendar that utilizes the naked female form to raise questions about religious symbolism — then don’t make the calendar look like the album cover of a Depeche Mode tribute band. 

If you’re going to be controversial, own it. I can find boobies. I can find it right now. I can get on Google and be awash in areolas in thirty seconds flat. Hell, I can probably get 3D up in here if I ask nicely enough.

You’re going to have to be way more creative and take way more care for me to enjoy boobies around coffins, guys.

Question: Seriously, the pictures look like a pre-teen’s anime forum avatar, don’t they?

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