Out in Silver Lake, the hipster capital of Los Angeles (but a great place to live, actually), Mack Reed was having his home checked out to throw in some solar panels. And then he found a drug den of scum and villainy inside. Actually, he just found a bunch of weed at his house.
So, yeah. It really shouldn’t be shocking that there is marijuana in Silver Lake — I mean, I can walk into any bar down there and, on a long enough timeline, I will hear Elliott Smith and Tom Waits — but Reed worked out his ordeal on his Tumblr.
While bringing in someone to check out his home for solar paneling, they went all throughout the property, snapping photos of everything. The guy from the solar panel company (Sungevity) was “taking notes and photos of everything from the back of our fridge to the beefy electric motor on the radial-arm saw I found on eBay for 40 bucks.”
So, they finally go to an in-ground hot tub that Mack clearly has not fixed up, which is his duty as a man, and they eventually find this:
First off, this in-ground hot tub? This is a casket. This is a grave and you’re calling it a hot tub. Please. Secondly — that bag obviously has marijuana in there. I don’t even need to open the bag — you have more pictures, Mack? Oh, sweet.
Oh! Oh, okay, so that’s what a drug dealer’s backpack looks like. Mack explains:
Thousands of dense little marijuana buds stare back at me, through industrial vacuum-sealed plastic, through thick Ziploc bags, through the crystal-argyle pattern of glass jelly-jars – all labeled in looping Sharpie letters with names like “Lemon Haze” and “Bubble Mix.”
“What is it?”
“It’s, um …” I venture.
I show him. “It’s dope, It’s a big bag of marijuana.”
What a bunch of liars, the both of you.
And then Reed supposedly freaks out, worried about the “James Ellroy noir” that some “evil man” has thrown him into. Then he coughs a bit because Lemon Haze is so harsh, man.
Then he starts doing math from his “crime reporter days.”
Let’s see, an eighth of pot probably goes for $75, times eight is $600, times 16 ounces in a pound is – god, um – $9600, plus what I’m praying is hashish and not heroin in there, which is probably more expensive, times what feels like 20 pounds, minus the weight of the jars and the bag…
Incorrect. In the state of California — where it is effectively legal — an eighth is significantly less than $75. But hey, live your dream.
Anyway, he left his nice little note for the supplier:
That was nice of you.