Horror Movies Literally Scare The Crap Out Of You

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That’s right folks — a new study by the University of Westminster says that you can thin up your putrid, fleshy body by watching horror movies!

Scenes and moments that are crafted specifically to make the audience “jump” are particularly useful for burning calories, as they increase your heart rate. On average, horror movies are capable of burning the equivalent of a chocolate bar, and essentially works as a half-hour walk.

The study was commissioned by movie rental service LOVEFiLM (yes, that i is not supposed to be capitalized. No, I don’t know why), who probably wanted to use it as some sort of “keep your eyes on the screen” promotion — oh, they actually said that? Oh, okay:

 We all know the feeling of wanting to hide behind the sofa or grab a pillow when watching scary or hair raising scenes, but this research suggests that maybe those seeking to burn some calories should keep their eyes on the screen.

All right, well, fine.

The top ten calorie-burning movies are right here, so put your lazy, hulking mass of person in front of a TV and watch these films:

  1. The Shining: 184 calories
  2. Jaws: 161 calories
  3. The Exorcist: 158 calories
  4. Alien: 152 calories
  5. Saw: 133 calories
  6. A Nightmare on Elm Street: 118 calories
  7. Paranormal Activity: 111 calories
  8. The Blair Witch Project: 105 calories
  9. The Texas Chain Saw Massacre: 107 calories
  10.  [Rec]: 101 calories

Of course, movies that cause actual vomiting probably would not count for this study, even though you’d be getting rid of more calories. Your teeth would rot and your stomach lining would become a joyless wasteland, but by God, you would look pretty. 

But no, seriously – bulimia is a terrible thing to get started in. And gross-out movies suck.

I would personally recommend Event Horizon, but because I watched that when I was little and had a tendency to get real close to the screen, my experience with that film may be considerably warped.

The Ring still holds up. Though I can hear nerds calling out “Ringu” in the distance – I don’t care. I like Naomi Watts.

Question: What horror movie makes you jump the most? You can start getting your workout on. At least until you memorize the movie and it isn’t scary anymore.

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