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New The Hobbit Posters!



Here is Gandalf raking up the damn leaves.

 17 New Character Posters for The Hobbit

Hello kids!  It is my honor to present to you 17 new character posters for The Hobbit An Unexpected Journey.  You may or may not be dripping in the moistness of anticipation generated by the upcoming film, but you have to admit these promotionals are simply stunning.  What I love most about the original LoTR trilogy is that Peter Jackson and his team of madmen and madwomen created an amazingly detailed NEW WORLD that beautifully encompassed Tolkien’s epic vision.  And I tell you what, I am very excited that on December 14th, I get the chance to strap on my satchel and drop some coin on Middle Earth.  In the meantime, take a gander at these posters and momentarily whisk yourself away to a land of mythical sexy.  

 Here is Bilbo playing Red Light, Green Light.

Here is Gollum doing his E.T. impression.

Here is Thorin waiting for you to open the damn door so he can come in out of the rain.

Dori… well, Dori is drunk.  And horny.

 Bombur is very disappointed that you came home 15 minutes after curfew.

Here is Bofur making me feel very uncomfortable.

 Here is Bifur, the walking medical miracle.

 Here is Balin posing for what was supposed to be the Troll III poster.

 Here is Ori.  He obviously gets picked on.  He is going to go hide in the school attic and read the Never Ending Story.

Here is Oin looking at porn on the family PC when his wife walks in unexpectedly.

Nori.  Hey Nori.  Please don’t cut off your head Nori.

 Kili is obviously played by YouTuber Chris Thompson, aka SupRicky06.

 Gloin is standing in our campfire.  Don’t be a dick Gloin.

Here is Fili is checking out your girl.  What you gonna do about it?

 Dwalin wants you to measure out and cut strips of Orc meat with his RulerKnife.

Here is Galadriel telling you that the test is positive.  Now you have to find a way to break the news to both your parents.  Her father never liked you.